There’s a Right Way, and a Wrong Way
Do you ever see a cute dog or puppy and think to yourself “I really want to say hi!” and you start marching over to them? There are a couple of myths on how to greet a dog properly still floating about, and there are some things we do that we don’t realize are rude or scary to dogs when we greet them. Of course before approaching any dog, make sure you ask the owner if it’s okay to say hi. Every child should also be taught to always ask to say hi first before running up to a dog. This is not only important for good manners, but also because a lot of dogs find children unpredictable and too loud, which makes them scary. This combination of erratic movement and loud noises can make dogs even more anxious about a greeting, and anxious dogs can bite. Because of this, just because a dog does well with adults does not mean they will do well with children.
If you see a dog wearing a service vest, please ignore these dogs and do not ask if you can pet them. It’s also important to teach your children to also recognize service dogs and ignore them. These dogs are working to keep their owners safe and can miss important information to alert their owners about, like a seizure or cardiac event coming, if distracted by random people coming up to pet them.
What Not to Do
All of these types of body language from us mentioned below can make a dog anxious.
Offering your hand: There’s this idea out there that when greeting a dog we should put our hand out to let them sniff us. While the idea sounds innocent and that we are inviting a dog to interact, it can actually make a dog nervous. This is because you are reaching into their space when they may not want you to. Most dogs prefer to go over to you when they are ready instead of you reaching towards them. Plus, a lot of dogs are also head-shy, and when we reach our hand out we generally aim for the nose so they can sniff, which is towards their head.
Hovering or leaning: When interacting with a dog, try not to hover or lean over them. This can be intimidating for a dog as it encroaches on their personal space.
Petting their head: As mentioned earlier, most dogs are head-shy, and so reaching your hand over a dog’s head to pet them can be scary. Even if you come from the side, most dogs actually don’t like the top of their head pet anyway and prefer other areas of the body for petting.
Eye contact: Eye contact can make dogs really anxious if they don’t know you, because in the dog world avoiding eye contact is the polite thing to do! So, when meeting a dog, try not to make direct eye contact if you can help it. If you do make eye contact, try to not make it prolonged.
Touching them before they give you consent to do so: Consent to touch can be different from dog to dog, but for most they will either rub up against you, paw at you, or even nuzzle you with their nose. Consent is not necessarily a dog coming up to sniff you! Dogs will sniff people to gather information, but then may back away after. If a dog comes up to sniff you, do not pet them right away.
Giving food by hand: If a dog is really nervous and hesitant to come over to you, do not try to feed them from your hand. This creates conflict in the dog by not wanting to be near you, but wanting the food. Sometimes the dog will come up to you to get the food, but then once the food is gone they get very overwhelmed by how close they are to you. These situations can cause some dogs to bite out of fear. Imagine one of your worst fears, like a shark for example. Now imagine that shark has a thousand dollars taped to its fin. You really want/need that money even though you’re terrified of sharks. So, you swim up to the shark despite how scared you are, grab the money, and put it in your pocket. Now that the money's gone and you are inches away from a giant shark, panic is going to set in now that you are closer and the motivation/distraction to be near it is gone, and the shark isn’t any less scary to you.
How to Greet a Dog
So, how do you approach a dog for the first time if the owner gives you the okay to do so? Approach the dog in an arch, do not walk towards them straight on if you can help it, and walk slowly. Once you get closer to the dog, but are still outside of their bubble, present your side to them and feel free to crouch down if you’d like. Avoid prolonged eye contact by looking straight ahead, since you won’t be facing the dog, and use your peripheral vision. Let the dog approach and sniff you and wait to see if they give any consent signals talked about above. If the dog does want
you to pet them, it’s best to pet their chest and shoulders to avoid going over their head, also avoid hugging or kissing the dog. Only pet the dog briefly so you can check if the dog is still enjoying the interaction. Sometimes a dog may initiate interaction and enjoy it at first, but then start to become overwhelmed. These dogs may “freeze” and won’t necessarily move away from you, but will instead show signs of anxious body language and wait for you to stop petting them before feeling safe enough to move away.
If it’s a nervous dog, you can throw treats behind the dog and away from you. This will show the dog you mean good things, and also relieves the pressure of being near you and facing you. This also allows the dog to decide if they want to come back to you or not.
Watch Body Language To Know If the Dog is Okay
When determining if a dog will want to say hello or not, watch their body language to assess how they are feeling. If you see signs like a stiff body, nose/lip licking, you can see the whites of the dog’s eyes, their ears are back, or they are turning their head away, this is a nervous dog. You also want to look for these signs while petting a dog in case they no longer want to be interacting with you.
Dogs with loose bodies, a tail wag that reaches the rump (Stiff straight up tails wagging fast with no movement in the rump is not a happy dog), soft eyes and facial expressions are happy dogs!
Seeing Yellow
Have you ever seen a dog wearing something yellow like a collar, leash, bandana, ribbon, or vest? This has come to mean that the dog needs space and may be anxious. The yellow gear will often say something like "nervous," "give me space," or "no dogs." So, if you're ever seeing yellow, please be kind and try to give that dog as much space as possible if you can. The owner and dog will very much appreciate it.
Resources
Cattle Dog Publishing, "How to Greet a Dog (and What to Avoid)" Poster
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